I used to be a sinner, used to have my cake and eat it
They warned me of my fate, but I was quite prepared to meet it
You'll go to Hell they smiled at me and told me of the roaring fires
But I was happy living wild and fueling my own desires

I was a wild man
Drinking, smoking and messing around with women
Lots of women
No, not swimming, women, women

I wanna go to Heaven
The place to be is right up there
I wanna go to Heaven
It's gonna be good so I won't despair

I decided to reform and pray beg mercy for my soul
I prayed in church threw away my bad habits
Prayed out of church adopted an entirely different role
I gave my money to the poor until I was poor
But at least I ensured that I would go up there
Instead of down below to the Inferno
Where the evil flames of desire burned higher and higher and higher

I'm gonna go to Heaven
Paid my dues so I'm getting in
I'm gonna go to Heaven
It's looking good if I abstain from sin

I knocked on the pearly gates neatly side-stepping the long queue
Waved hi to St. Peter who checked my card and let me through
I smiled, threw my hands in the air and laughed and got arrested
They said hey man, you're in the wrong place your behaviour is a disgrace
Here we pray every hour, on the hour
Read extracts from the Bible and look solemn'
What, says I, no party?
No party?
Let me out

Let me out of Heaven
I got it wrong, no I can't stay here
No laughing in Heaven
Let me out, I just can't stay here

Let me out of Heaven
I got it wrong, no I can't stay here
No laughing in Heaven
Let me out of Heaven
I've got it wrong, no I can't stay here
No laughing in Heaven
Oh God, it's awful here
Going crazy in Heaven
Take me out and let me go to hell
No laughing in Heaven
Don't laugh, this place is Hell